I’ve been back in the yoga studio this week (thank god!). My body was again shouting for some attention. I haven’t been fare to it as I’ve been giving most of my attention to work and planning Aesthetic Women. I didn’t have a balance with how I divided my time and therefore not the right balance between my mind, body and soul. So finally I got my butt into the +40 degree, 90 minute bikram yoga class, two nights in a row! Oh wow, I’m telling you, I suffered!
Throughout the class our male teacher with his muscular, beautiful body and sexy tattoos, wearing nothing but hot-pants was telling us how the 90 minutes of suffering we do repeatedly here in the yoga studio will keep us away from the 90 YEARS of suffering we’d otherwise go through. He said it will never be easy, it will always be hard, even for the students who’ve been coming for years. The difference is that when we repeatedly practice the same thing over and over again we learn to accept the suffering we must go through in order to get the results we want. It then becomes a balance between the amount of suffering I am willing to engage in, in order to get what I want.
So it’s all about discipline I thought. But not that kind of discipline I previously thought! Not that kind of discipline where I push myself harder and harder and harder without getting what I want out of it. Instead, it’s a discipline of nice tension. Like the strings of a guitar; they cannot be too tight nor too loose because if they are, they can not give away the right sound. It’s about adapting a discipline without extremes. To use discipline to create balance.
I had the perception that discipline means to make people obey rules by applying punishment. That it wasn’t my choice to make to adapt discipline, that it was forced upon me by an outsider (“You must do X, exactly this way to get Y, because I’m telling you Z is what you need”). No; discipline is really about us choosing ourselves to practice over and over again the same thing to achieve the improvement we ourselves are after.
By adapting more and more of the right kind of discipline to my life I can create the music of my body, the beauty of myself. Nothing is achieved without balance, we need to give some to gain some.
The good looking yoga teacher is the motivation to get my butt into the yoga studio but discipline is choosing to stay there for the full 90 minutes even tough I feel like dying. I know that once the suffering is over, once I feel like I’ve died, I am reborn again, much stronger. And I’m telling you, that feeling of being reborn is SO worth the suffering.